• Cristina

Why This Will Not Wreck Me

Updated: Mar 29

(Originally posted on the old site 3/18/19)

The boo boos on his head and black and blue marks on his knuckles aren’t even healed yet from last week’s elective (but still pretty pivotal) procedure and now Kai is looking at urgent neurosurgery #4 in his 8 months of life. It was hard news to hear, but we caught this early, we’re in great medical hands, and Kai has already come SO FAR.  What’s really helping me get my mind off my fears is directing my thoughts to what I DO WANT since I can’t always control what happens, but I can choose how I respond:

I refuse to let parenting a child with challenges turn us into a statistic that demonstrates despair.  Rather we will join the outliers who exemplify resilience and hope. Mav and Kai are the reason I’m finding new levels of strength, not the reason I will fall apart. I’ll cope in healthy ways, find resources and solutions, and show up instead of maladapting and isolating.  Kai may be physically disabled, but what I really don’t want for him is to be disabled by self-pity. Since more is “caught than taught,” and since it’s hard for anyone to “be something they can’t see” (thank you, Sheryl Sandberg), I strive to reject the temptation of self-pity and instead strive to give credit to the value of our challenges.  I’ll find a deeper sense of peace, not from running away from my drama, but from going through it and letting it transform me.


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